You’ll All Pay #41

(c) 2006 Joe Conat

Are you kidding me?!

From the Associated Press:

“In a debate with powerful echoes of the turbulent civil rights era, four Republicans running for Alabama’s Supreme Court are making an argument legal scholars thought was settled in the 1800s: that state courts are not bound by U.S. Supreme Court precedents. The Constitution says federal law trumps state laws, and legal experts say there is general agreement that state courts must defer to the U.S. Supreme Court on matters of federal law.

Yet Justice Tom Parker, who is running for chief justice, argues that state judges should refuse to follow U.S. Supreme Court precedents they believe to be erroneous. Three other GOP candidates in Tuesday’s primary have made nearly identical arguments.

“State supreme court judges should not follow obviously wrong decisions simply because they are `precedents,’” Parker wrote in a newspaper opinion piece in January that was prompted by a murder case that came before the Alabama high court.”

(Story can be found here.)

So…what are the state supreme court judges supposed to do…flip a coin? Make it up as they go? “I know there’s a ‘precedent’ that says murder is illegal, but we’re gonna ignore that because everybody knows Jim Bob was a sonuvvabitch, so you know what? Case dismissed. YEEEEEE HHHHAAWWWWW!!!”

There’s a perfectly valid way for Alabama to not adhere to the Supreme Court’s pesky ‘precedents’. It’s called “secession” and would anybody really *miss* Alabama if they left the union? I mean, really? Granted they’re geographically inconvenient, being mostly surrounded by, you know, the rest of the United States, but if we can put up a wall along the border with Mexico we can put a wall around Alabama. And good riddance to them, really.

Hey, ‘bama. Just to let you know, sort of a friendly FYI from a stuck up citified Yankee…here’s Article III of the Constitution of the Country You Should Probably Consider Just Leaving, It Would Be Better For Everyone, Really:

(pertinent bits bolded for Alabama’s edification. Edification. Go look it up in the dictionary, Alabama. Dictionary. It’s a big book with–oh, forget it.)

Article III.

Section. 1.
The judicial Power of the United States shall be vested in one supreme Court, and in such inferior Courts as the Congress may from time to time ordain and establish. The Judges, both of the supreme and inferior Courts, shall hold their Offices during good Behaviour, and shall, at stated Times, receive for their Services a Compensation, which shall not be diminished during their Continuance in Office.

Section. 2.

The judicial Power shall extend to all Cases, in Law and Equity, arising under this Constitution, the Laws of the United States, and Treaties made, or which shall be made, under their Authority;–to all Cases affecting Ambassadors, other public Ministers and Consuls;–to all Cases of admiralty and maritime Jurisdiction;–to Controversies to which the United States shall be a Party;–to Controversies between two or more States;– between a State and Citizens of another State;–between Citizens of different States;–between Citizens of the same State claiming Lands under Grants of different States, and between a State, or the Citizens thereof, and foreign States, Citizens or Subjects. In all Cases affecting Ambassadors, other public Ministers and Consuls, and those in which a State shall be Party, the supreme Court shall have original Jurisdiction. In all the other Cases before mentioned, the supreme Court shall have appellate Jurisdiction, both as to Law and Fact, with such Exceptions, and under such regulations as the Congress shall make. The Trial of all Crimes, except in Cases of Impeachment, shall be by Jury; and such Trial shall be held in the State where the said Crimes shall have been committed; but when not committed within any State, the Trial shall be at such Place or Places as the Congress may by Law have directed.

Section. 3.

Treason against the United States, shall consist only in levying War against them, or in adhering to their Enemies, giving them Aid and Comfort. No Person shall be convicted of Treason unless on the Testimony of two Witnesses to the same overt Act, or on Confession in open Court.  The Congress shall have Power to declare the Punishment of Treason, but no Attainder of Treason shall work Corruption of Blood, or Forfeiture except during the Life of the Person attainted.

So, according to the Constitution, State courts are totally superceded by the Supreme Court in matters of federal law. Whether or not you agree with “precedent” is immaterial…it’s the law and you have to follow it. If you don’t like the law appeal it, you backwards redneck morons!  There are steps you can take! GAAAAHHHH!!!

This is just typical of what we’ve been seeing from most of the Republican party lately. Don’t like those annoying “laws” and “ethics” and all that? Ignore them! Wanna listen in on private citizens’ phone calls? Go ahead! Forget FISA! War in Iraq? Let’s lie about WMDs! What? No WMDs? Just shrug and mug and keep shootin’, by golly.

I mean…I know it’s hardly topical anymore, but Dick Cheney SHOT A GUY IN THE FACE and there was no investigation, no real legal repercussions, no anything. They wait hours and hours before having the local Roscoe P. Coltrane doofus sherriff mosey on up to the ranch. “Mr. Vice President…did you shoot that man in the face?” “Yes, but I didn’t mean it.” “Good enough for me! Want some barbecue?”

Does law mean nothing to the GOP? Seriously. How many Abramoffs and Scooter Libby’s do we need to have before we just round up all the party controllers and march them off to the hoosegow? “You did something, just ‘fess up.”

Oh, now I remember why we don’t do that: The Democratic Party has decided to be complete wusses.

C’mon, Dems! John Lewis calls for impeachment and the Democratic Party’s response seems to be embarrassed shushing. “You’re being too loud! Inside voices! Somebody call him a cab, get him to sleep it off.”

Oh, and would somebody in the “mainstream media” please report on Karl Rove’s indictment?  The curtain’s been pulled back, the Wizard is exposed as a conman, a cheat and a liar! Dude, this is big news for all of Oz, not just the Emerald City! Munchkinland must hear of this!

Blatant disregard for the laws of this land has characterized just about every aspect of this administration, from its shady allegedly stolen elections to its vengeful treatment of naysayers to its deception intended to lead the country into a misguided war to its misuse and shuffling of funds. If this were a business, Bush and Co. would be lined up next to Ken Lay and Jeff Skilling in some prison jumpsuits singing “Swing Low Sweet Chariot”. But we do nothing because, according to one excuse I’ve heard, we “wouldn’t get the votes we need to do it.”

We don’t need votes. Send the POLICE!

Oh, wait…that’s right. The Democrats have their own scandal to deal with in the form of Rep. William Jefferson.

Man…how can the Democrats, in good conscience, scream for the blood of the administration due to its incompetence and corruption while screaming just as vehemently against law and order when one of their own is found to be (allegedly) corrupt?

Let’s be clear. The raid on William Jefferson’s office was, in my view, entirely legal and justified. I’m no lawyer or constitutional scholar, but it’s apparent that the Constitution does not protect Congressmen from criminal prosecution or investigation; it only protects them from civil actions brought by private citizens that would call them away from performing the duties of their elected office and disenfranchise the people they represent.

Article I, Section 6 of the Constitution states:

The Senators and Representatives shall receive a Compensation for their Services, to be ascertained by Law, and paid out of the Treasury of the United States. They shall in all Cases, except Treason, Felony and Breach of the Peace, be privileged from Arrest during their Attendance at the Session of their respective Houses, and in going to and returning from the same; and for any Speech or Debate in either House, they shall not be questioned in any other Place.

I’m pretty sure the bribery charges Jefferson is facing are felonies, and this article does not protect Congressmen from investigation.

It’s embarrassing, and it’s embarrassing that my party is questioning the DoJ on what, to me, appears to be a perfectly valid investigation. Plus, Bush seals the records for 45 days…which means the Dems now owe Bushie Baby a *favor*. Way to handle that one, dumbasses.

It would be better, I think, if the Dems would just step up and say “Yeah, okay, it appears he’s a bad bad man” and accept his investigation with good grace rather than squee like indignant little girls that the G-Men kicked in a door on the Hill. Get over it. A crime has been committed…the dude had $100K in his *freezer*, like, what…he’s one of those dudes that doesn’t trust banks? “I know it looks bad, but I like to keep my legitimately earned money in odd places. Don’t look in the toilet tank, heh heh, that’s where I keep my bonds.”

So now the whole shebang is even more suspect. Is there not one good soul in D.C. who can, I don’t know, be a good and ethical leader for the country? Makes you yearn for the days of Bill “O Face” Clinton, doesn’t it? Semen on a dress seems kinda trite in comparison to $100K all Reynolds Wrap-ped in the freezer, let alone what the feds might have found in the representative’s office.

Given all this…well. Now I come to think of it, maybe we should all secede from the United States. Take some of the leftover Mexican Wall material and just build a border around my house. Declare my house the United State of Joe. National Motto: Truth, Justice and Get the Hell Offa My Lawn!

It’ll be me an’ Alabama, I guess.

Roll tide, bitches.

You’ll All Pay is written by Joe Conat who is even now designing his own flag. It has stars on it. And a monkey. Who knows with this guy? You can send him design suggestions here.

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