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You’ll All Pay # 22

© 2004 Joe Conat

I’m giggling here. I’m giggling both in glee and…I’ll admit it, I’m not ashamed…I’m giggling that nervous “I’m peein’ myself out of sheer terror” giggle.

Our President is a crazy man.

Well, okay. Allegedly a crazy man.

The Internet published “newspaper” Capitol Hill Blue revealed on June 4 that White House aides are privately concerned over the Chief’s mental health. Describing the President as paranoid and megalomaniacal, these people relate stories about President Bush’s increasingly bizarre behavior, from declaring his decisions to be “God’s will” to instructing his minions to “f*** over” anyone who opposes him. He will swing from quoting scripture to rabid, epithet filled rants against Democrats, the media and other “enemies of the state”. One aide is quoted as saying: “In this administration, you don’t have to wear a turban or speak Farsi to be an enemy of the United States. All you have to do is disagree with the President.”

Oh, joy.

I mean I always suspected that President Bush wasn’t exactly the brightest bulb in the chandelier. His insistence on the presence of Weapons of Mass Destruction in Iraq in the face of multiple U.N. Inspectors’ reports refuting that assertion seemed to me to be the stubbornness of the schoolyard dummy, that mulish pouting and endless repetition of “Yuh-huh! Yuh-huh!” so characeristic of the just-bright-enough-to-know-he’s-not-that-bright. I thought he was simply too hell bent on ruining the country to see any other path, too blind to reality because of his lack of brains.

Turns out he’s just delusional or something.

Dr. Justin Frank, author of “Bush on the Couch: Inside the Mind of the President” comes to the conclusion that our Commander in Chief is “an untreated alcoholic” and has shown a “lifelong streak of sadism, ranging from childhood pranks (using firecrackers to explode frogs) [Joe’s interjection: Isn’t cruelty to animals as a youngster one of the “warning signs” that the child may grow up to be a serial killer?] to insulting journalists, gloating over state executions …” Dr. Frank also asserts that George W. Bush suffers from “character pathology” and exhibits symptoms of that pathology such as grandiosity and megalomania. The President considers himself, America and God Almighty as fungible.

He also describes President Bush as “indecisive, paranoid and delusional”.

This view is supported by psychoanalyst and registered Republican Dr. Carolyn Williams who “finds the bulk of [Dr. Frank’s] analysis credible.”

“[President Bush’s] behavior suggests a classic paranoid personality. Additionally, his stated belief that certain actions are ‘God’s Will’ are symptomatic of delusional behavior.”

This man controls the mightiest army in the history of the world. He has access to and control over a nuclear arsenal that could destroy the planet ten times over. His decisions affect your day-to-day lives and the lives of your friends and families.

He is a crazy person.

Allegedly.

When put in this light, a lot of our country’s current problems make a bit more sense. To Bush perhaps there were WMDs in Iraq. Maybe he’s sitting in the Oval Office staring at a Tommy the Tank Engine coloring book and thinking it’s a dossier of Keyhole satellite photos showing a big ol’ nuclear weapons manufactory with a neon sign proclaiming it to be “Uncle Saddam’s Big Ol’ House O’ Nukes”! He’s lost in this delusion and thinking we’re all crazy for not seeing what he sees.

Also in that photograph is Osama bin Laden, shaking Saddam Hussein’s hand and giving a cheerful “thumbs up” while al-Qaeda members load intermediate range ballistic missiles into a semi.

Maybe he thinks all the countries that don’t agree with his foreign policies, like France and Germany, are in the thrall of grey Rigellians who have assumed human form and taken over the highest offices of those lands. President Chirac is actually Z’rquongil, High Prefect of the Rigellian Empire (sector 302)!

I don’t actually believe the President is that far gone. But I am concerned.

No. I’m frightened.

The pressures brought to bear on the President of the United States are titanic. A normal, well-balanced individual could well crack under the strain.

Think what inevitably must happen to an abnormal, unbalanced person.

We can’t risk it. Four more years of those Brobdingnagian stresses will surely shatter the thin façade of sanity George W. Bush is presenting. What a man can do with the resources the President has at his command while under the influence of his darker impulses gone wild…

I shudder to think.

Even if he hasn’t cracked, he’s made a mess of things. A bipartisan group of 27 former diplomats and military commanders calling themselves, appropriately enough, Diplomats and Military Commanders for Change have announced that they support Bush’s defeat this upcoming November because of their belief that the Bush administration’s foreign policy “is not able to rise to the responsibilities of world leadership in either style or substance” and is a danger to national security.

“Our security has been weakened. America’s armed forces were not prepared for military occupation and nation-building…Muslim youth are turning to anti-American terrorism. Public opinion polls throughout the world report hostility toward us. Never in our history has the United States been so isolated among nations, so broadly feared and distrusted,” says Phyllis Oakley, a member of Diplomats and Military Commanders for Change and former assistant secretary of state under President Clinton.

Air Force General Merrill McPeak (ret.), Air Force chief of staff under the first President Bush says “At the end of my active service, ten years ago, I signed up as a Republican…And in 2000 I was a veteran for Bush. This administration has gone away from me, not vice-versa.”

That’s a lot of highly qualified people saying our foreign policy is misguided and dangerous.

The 9/11 Commission has stated that there is no credible link between Iraq and al-Qaeda in the planning, support or execution of the 9/11 attacks. Vice President Cheney has stubbornly refused to retract his statement that there definitely was a connection…is the entire administration loony-tunes?

The lunatics are running the asylum. And while that’s great if your leader is named Randle McMurphy, it’s not so fantastic when your leader is George W. Bush and the asylum is the United States. While he’s pretending to watch the World Series on a turned-off television, our soldiers are under very real and very deadly attack in a foreign land, our economy is tanking and we still haven’t caught the terrorist who started the whole fiasco in the first place.

It’s time for Nurse Ratched to administer the heavy dose of Oustitol doctors recommend to President Bush and co.

Or some people may just heave a sink through the window and escape.

You’ll All Pay is transcribed from the lunatic ramblings of Joe Conat. You can recommend methods of treatment here.

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You’ll All Pay #21

© 2004 Joe Conat

…or

“Republicans Hate America!”

It’s so obvious when one wipes the dried pus of self-delusional conjunctivitis from one’s eye. Having cleared your vision of the stinking crust of conservative ideology to see the true light of the liberal side, I don’t see why anyone, even anyone as stupid as your average Republican, could choose any other course.

Republicans are the most anti-American force out there. It is truly frightening that a “political party”…really a terrorist cult…is in control of all three branches of government, the first time such an atrocity has occurred since 1929. And we all know what happened then. The Republicans’ first attempt to destroy this great land of ours resulted in the Great Depression, a morass of economic ruin from which only the Democratic party and its pure unsullied love of country could pull us.

Republicans are as good as the terrorists that knock down buildings, blow up trains and wreak terror and blood across the globe. Republicans LOVE the terrorists…who else could frighten the good people of the United States of America enough to give the Republicans such unprecedented power? Power enough to subvert the Constitution itself, a document so dear to the hearts of Democrats it’s practically holy writ. Only Democrats love the country so much.

Republicans fund terrorists. They arm terrorists. They did it in 1979 and the American people paid the price in 2001. They gave the Afghanis guns and man-portable rocket launchers and those weapons are turned on American troops in Afghanistan and Iraq today.

When terrorists don’t have homes, the Republicans send American troops to Iraq to clear the way and GIVE terrorists a home. When terrorists run and hide, Republicans fail to look for them. Have you heard of Osama bin Laden being captured? Me either.

While our sons and daughters sacrifice their lives for the terrorists, the Republicans make sure the terrorists have every advantage the Republicans can give them by under-equipping our troops. They can blame this on Democrats if they like, but the truth is it was Republicans that decided to send our boys and girls over there anyway, even though the Republicans knew our nation’s children lacked sufficient body armor and armored vehicles.

If that weren’t enough exposure to violent death for our troops, the Republicans urge, and probably downright order the torture of Iraqi prisoners. Why? To extract intelligence? Hah! Intelligence procured via torture is almost always useless. The Republicans know that. The torture and the release of the pictures was to inflame the burgeoning anti-American sentiments already brewing in Iraq’s occupied populace and encourage them to become terrorists and shoot at our soldiers! Why?

Because Republicans hate America!!

Republicans urge tax cuts for the rich, the top 2% of the population. That means they want the other 98% to suffer poverty and privation. They hate that 98% and actively try to make their lives harder. Stress reduces your life-span and they want you dead.

Republicans do not want gun control. The laxer the control, the more guns on the street. The more guns on the street, the higher the likelihood that you, one of that 98% and likely unable to afford extensive protection like bodyguards or body-armor, will be killed in violent crime. The Republicans like that. Remember, they hate you and want you to die. Because they’re terrorists.

Under every Republican president since and including Eisenhower the deficit has grown and grown due to their mismanagement. They want America to be financially weak. They hate America. They want America to fail.

Every Republican has mismanaged the military. They send our troops where they aren’t needed or wanted to be killed by people we have no interest in. The Republicans simply enjoy seeing our soldiers die by the hundreds. Korea, Vietnam, Grenada, the Persian Gulf and now Iraq. They want soldiers dying overseas and not protecting our shores. They want us to be militarily drained and defenseless. They hate America.

They hate freedom. Hate it! The USA PATRIOT Act is a blatant attempt to restrict or take away our basic rights and freedom. They hate freedom because freedom means American citizens question things. They ask questions like “Why didn’t you predict 9/11?” “Why is gas so expensive?” “Why is the FBI snooping through my trash?” “Why is my son splattered all over a home in Fallujah by an American manufactured rocket propelled grenade fired by an Iraqi dissident at his unarmored Humvee?” They don’t like those questions because the only true answers are “We hate America. We hate freedom and liberty. We hate you and we hate your son. We are terrorists and fascists.” And those answers don’t let them stay in power. Or out of jail.

There is no defense for being a Republican. In fact, it should be a crime. They should take the voter rolls and hunt down every Republican in America and charge them with treason and have mass hangings in Times Square. And they should film those mass hangings and show them every Fourth of July.

Republicans are sullen, stupid, wrathful animals and should be treated as rabid dogs…gunned down in the street for the safety of our citizens. They are diseased and should be quarantined in camps on deserted islands until they starve. They should be removed from the gene pool to purify future generations of Americans.

Because they hate America. Hate it!

We are weaker now than we have ever been. The world hates us now more than it ever has in the history of this country. More people want to destroy America than ever have since its inception.

But the people who hate it the most and want it destroyed more than any others…are the people who currently control it.

A vote for a Republican is a vote for your own demise. You may as well put a shotgun in your mouth and blow your brains all over your garage. A vote for a Republican is a vote for the Devil and will lead you to damnation and God himself will turn his face from you. A vote for a Republican makes the Baby Jesus cry.

A vote for a Democrat is a vote for prosperity, peace and everything that is good and right in the world. A vote for a Democrat is a vote for all the human heart holds dear.

A vote for a third party is a waste of five minutes.

Vote Democratic or suffer the iniquities of Hell on Earth. Vote Democratic or the terrorists have won! Vote Democratic or YOU are a terrorist!

Are you a terrorist? No, of course not. So vote Democratic.

Because Republicans hate America and kill baby seals and don’t celebrate Christmas and are inhuman soul-eating scum!!

[This article inspired by Rush Limbaugh, Ann Coulter and Michael Savage. This article is ‘tongue-in-cheek’…

…or is it?]

You’ll All Pay was written by staunch Democrat and Upstanding Citizen Joe Conat. You can explain why Republicans aren’t Satanists and baby-killers here. Any attempt to point out egregious factual errors or outrageous hyperbole will be met with “Yeah, tell it to Rush, Ann and Mike. What are you, a terrorist?”

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